What Consumes the Heart of A Poet
by FieryDiMaia
Summary: Songfic. Set to the song Numb by Linkin Park. A deeper, much darker look into the relationship between Boromir, Faramir and Denethor. I swear it's more interesting than it sounds. 1st non-humor LotR fic so plz R


Title: What Consumes the Heart of A Poet  
  
Disclaimer: The characters of this story originated from the brilliant mind of Tolkien and belong only to Tolkien Enterprises, New Line Cinema and Wingnut Films. The song is owned by Linkin Park.  
  
Summary: Possibly the darkest thing I've ever written. Delving deeper into the relationship between Boromir, Faramir and their father, Denethor. Makes a bit more sense if you watched the dynamic between the three in the Two Towers Extended Edition DVD. Is anyone else disturbed it comes with a friggin' map!  
  
(A/N): Probably done before but the idea wouldn't get outta my head. I love the complexity of Denethor's relationship with his sons. This is the kind of multi-dimensional literature that fanfiction derived from. Oh yeah and between these "//" are the lyrics.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The true merit of a writer's work is not based solely on fan appreciation but also its relevance throughout a variety of different generations. It's ability to mirror the human condition so well that it's content is seemingly ageless, able to bring to light issues that plague people a century after it was first written. And to do this in not only a fictional story but also a story of fantasy is what qualifies it to be deemed a 'classic'.  
  
*From the Perpetually Active  
Mind of DiMaia*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*  
  
/I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
  
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface  
  
Don't know what you're expecting of me  
  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes  
  
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)  
  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
  
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)/  
  
*  
  
Father. You send me to Rivendell to acquire the One Ring. Claim it to vanquish our enemies and defend Gondor. As you gaze into my eyes, urging me to attend the Council, my fear for Gondor increases ten-fold. Not just from what horrors Sauron's attack will unleash but from you as well. Isiludur's Bane has not even come within your sight and I can already see its hold over you. The gleam in your eyes leads me to fear for the safety of my people. And my brother. I lower my head, unable to watch you as you fall deeper into madness. Your greed and stubbornness binding you there, pulling you away from the ones whom love you. Your rule is failing and in desperation, you will lash out at all who defy you. You will try to wield this mighty 'gift' unknowing cursing yourself. This mission is folly and for me to go and bring back to you your damnation is absurd. But no. You will not listen to reason and I fear that although I am to be, 'molded' in your image, I don't doubt for a single moment that you will send Faramir off on this quest in my stead. Even if it means his death.  
  
Looking up at the Gondorian flag, I realize this maybe the last time I see the White City. That the horns of Gondor may never greet me back to my people. A wave of faithlessness fills my being and the weight of the world is heavy on my chest. Looking down at the face of my younger brother, I see every bit of sadness that threatens to burst his heart. A romantic heart of a poet or a dreamer, but not the heart of a fighter. His spirit as strong as any other warrior before him but the bloodshed too much for his heart to bare. Everyday, I see the shadows increase over his eyes, dimming his beautiful heart. Our mother's heart. But my father schemes to pull us apart. All I can do is hope that he is strong enough not to let his words lead him a stray. Looking down at him, I felt a new wave of dread engulf me.  
  
"Remember today, little brother."  
  
This is the last day we meet as brother in blood as well brothers of Gondor. My last attempt to protect you from our father's wrath.  
  
*  
  
/I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
  
I've become so tired so much more aware  
  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
  
Is be more like me and be less like you/  
  
*  
  
*  
  
/Can't you see that you're smothering me  
  
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control  
  
Cause everything that you thought I would be  
  
Has fallen apart right in front of you  
  
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)  
  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
  
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)  
  
And every second I waste is more than I can take/  
  
*  
  
"Do not trouble me with Faramir, I know his uses and they are few."  
  
His words are ringing in my head. Haunting me as I get ready to leave and lead an attack on one of Sauron's parties. He is gathering his army, of both creature's and men to wage his last attack. The last battle that will cover the whole world in darkness. Early today I presented him with Boromir's horn. Broken in two as tears stung my eyes and threatened to slide down my face. 'Must not cry. Crying would only show him what it was he already despised of me. My weakness.' I bowed down before him and raised my brother's horn to meet his gaze. "Father. While patrolling my gravest discovery was made when I uncovered Boromir's horn, cloven in two. Moments later, I found my brother's body floating in a small boat." My voice was disturbingly level, with only the slightest catch in my voice at the end. Only the ears of an elf would have been able to hear the silent sobs that escaped my mouth as I recounted the moment my heart bled. Witnessing my brother, pale and lifeless, denial overcame me. How could this be my brother? The great Captain of Gondor and the man who was to be shaped into our father's image.  
  
As I slowly raised my head to meet my father's eyes, fear washed over me as I watched my father's unbridled rage. The look of disgust and anger was so heated that I couldn't look away. I kneeled before him, eyes slightly widened, planted to my spot. I was staring right at him but I still never saw the hand before it slapped my face. The force of the blow was so strong it echoed throughout his chambers but my head stayed still. Unable to help my self, a single tear slide down my quickly reddening cheek. If at all possible, his gaze grew even more disgusted as he snatched Boromir's horn out of my hands. "Get out!" His booming voice echoing around the entire palace. The voice seemed to vibrate the very walls, or was that the shaking of my world, as it seemed to crumble around me.  
  
It seems something as simple as taking a breath has become a new way to disappoint my father. Mocking him that while his useless second born still roams this world, his first-born is dead, his prodigal son. Even now as he sits upon his throne, a million miles away in his own little world, he schemes on ways he could sell what little soul he has left to take away my breath and give it to my brother. And I would do it.  
  
*  
  
/I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
  
I've become so tired so much more aware  
  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
  
Is be more like me and be less like you/  
  
*  
  
*  
  
/And I know  
  
I may end up failing too  
  
But I know  
  
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you/  
  
*  
  
"Do you wish then, that our places had been exchanged?"  
  
"Yes, Indeed I do."  
  
As I ride into this suicide mission, my last attempt to achieve my father's love, the thought that this will all be over, one way or the other is mildly assuring. I'd choose an honorable death and a reunion with Boromir over the cold destitute walls that the kingdom of Gondor has become under my father's reign any day. My heart weeps for my men who have decided to ride out with me. They know that there's no hope of succeeding. But what if there is hope still for my people, as Mithrandir has claimed? I must not let my father's words get the best of me, or let my need for his acceptance prevail. I ride for Gondor. I ride for my mother and for the memory of my brother.  
  
*  
  
/I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
  
I've become so tired so much more aware  
  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
  
Is be more like me and be less like you/  
  
*  
  
Never before has the White City seen grayer days. The throne left without an heir, my family stripped from me one by one. My bloodline has been broken and how fitting is it that the one who led to its demise witness the last of its days. Unable to close myself off from the events happening around me, I realize now that with the fall of my family, Gondor too, will fall. No longer can I close my eyes and rely on Boromir to save us. He is dead, just like Faramir, my youngest son. My last words to him were not to return if he failed, fore my love and acceptance will be even further from his grasp. But it was I who failed him, long ago. Failed him as a father. There's no doubt in my mind that it is only through Boromir's influence and their mother's strong yet loving spirit that Faramir was fortunate to inherit, that Faramir did not let my cruelty dominate him. But we will be reunited, in death. No tomb could hold our greatness and only the flames could bind us, cleansing me of the sins I committed against my son. Renewing our relationship so our legacy will be etched into the minds of Men. How ever long the Days of Men might last.  
  
*  
  
/I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
  
Tired of being what you want me to be  
  
I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
  
Tired of being what you want me to be/  
  
*  
  
".And so passes the last of the noble house..."  
  
This was all I could hear as I regained consciousness. The burning sensation of fire dancing across my skin awoke me as two little hands began to pound it out. But all of this was so unclear; I was still not able to comprehend my surroundings. The first things I was able to focus on were my fathers' eyes as flames engulfed his body. The irony of the situation was lost from me at that moment as the look of caring and bewilderment in my father's eyes made my head spin. For so long we were separated by the flaming hatred I could see daily in his eyes but at that moment the only warmth I saw in his eyes stemmed from him caring about me. Loving me. But now the flames that kept him as far away from me as before were surrounding him. Unable to understand, yet knowing perfectly well the fate of my father, I watched as Denethor, Steward of Gondor, ran away on all fours as the fire enveloped him. Then he was gone. But I still could imagine him falling. As the all-too-familiar sting of tears stung my eyes, I shut them tightly as unconsciousness overcame me. But I could still see his eyes. Even while the darkness consumed me. Like the fires consumed him..  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Please R&R  
  
(A/N): First serious Lord of the Rings Fic. I love how such a popular song today can mirror a book written over fifty years ago. But don't feel too bad. We all know Faramir gets what's coming to him. In the form of one beautiful Lady of Rohan. *wink* *wink*  
  
Love,  
FieryDiMaia 


End file.
